typeracer

There was no point dwelling on my unreasoning horror of a large public wedding - enclosed spaces, claustrophobia, sudden movements, phobic triggers everywhere, for some reason the subway didn't bother me so much. It had more to do with crowded buildings, always expecting something to happen, the puff of smoke, the fast-running man at the crowd's margin, I couldn't even bear being in a movie theater if there were more than ten or fifteen people in it, I would turn around with my fully paid ticket and walk right out. And yet somehow this massive, jam-packed church ceremony was springing up around me like a flash mob. I would swallow a few Xanax and sweat my way through it.